It started last year February. I realized that I didn’t want to be at my job anymore. The economy sucked and I was supposed to be happy to even have a job, so I kept mine. I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t know what else to do and I slowly became miserable. It ended in an amicable divorce.
I had the roughest ideas of what I might want to do and took the wrong job for the right reasons. It was doing something different, a learning experience and a paycheck. It lasted three months.
When you hit rock bottom all you have to run on are fumes and a dream. Self pity starts when you realize you have nothing, self motivation occurs when you realize you have nothing to lose. I’ve been there.
I had an idea for a business and figured “Fuck it, why not?” I needed income, and decided I was getting a new job in an industry I like and would do what it took to get what I wanted. A little experience can go a long way if you try and stretch it. But little worth having comes easy - learned that the hard way.
Fighting expenses, expectations, and an eviscerated ego. That was my summer - a straight hustle.
Today, the business is coming to the final stages and we're looking to launch. I'm also double timing, working a nine to five, but doing exactly what I wanted to. I'm good at what I do and if I try I will be great. And to ice it off, I just finished a mid-morning coffee snack. It feels damn good and it's only going to get better.
Look out, I’m back.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Fast Forward
The piece below is by a very good friend of mine. Hope those reading enjoy. Thanks S.B.
On election night, my host brother Richard from Akrofonso (a small village in the middle of Ghana) called me to express his elation that Obama will be the next president of the United States. I recalled the discussion that we had together five years ago that black people are inferior to white people. He said, "The abruni (white man) is intelligent. the babini (black man) is not" as he chopped the top off a coconut for me with his machete. I told him that was ridiculous. He said, "then why do we live like we live, and you live like you live?". I then went into a twenty minute history lesson on Colonialism and the historical construct of subjegation by the Europeans to force African countries to be weak and dependent. Not surprisingly, this drew blank stares from Richard because only basic english was to be used to communicate and I certainly violated that rule. Needless to say, we changed the topic. As I spoke to him last Tuesday, I couldn't believe how much his English had improved. I said enthusiastically, "Richard, your English is great!" He said, "I'm like Obama, a black man with intelligence!" Without question, Obama's election is a remarkable, progressive step for our country - and the world.
With that said, the Obamania that has ensued is slightly concerning. I hope people are celebrating the significance of his election versus the anticipation of him being a deus ex machina for our country's problems. The question in my mind is whether Obama will become a great man or just a great politican. A great politican is like a Bill Clinton (sex scandal aside), in that we will always associate him with good times, but at the end of the day he did not make any fundamental changes to our dysfunctional system. Since disparaging George W. for his idiocy is cliche these days, I will say one thing, that he followed his own moral compass and made decisions (that just so happened to all be bad ones). I hope that Obama will do the same though, except make the right decisions and bring real change to this country. Unlike the election of Bush where many American's voted for someone that was a "common man", Obama was clearly an election of the "best of us" and therefore we should listen to him, not him to us.
Our government is dysfunctional regardless of whether we are less dysfunctional than everyone else. The special interests that run Washington lead to a misallocation of our resources and poor regulation. Our tax code makes no sense, taxes too much, and is way too confusing. The electoral college is archaic and needs to be reformend. Our military should be used with more restraint and focus more on the protection of our country instead of as the military for the world. The financial crises that is going on today has just begun to effect the economy. Much more pain is on the way. This pain is necessary - as an example the reduction of housing prices to reflect the true value - is necessary. However the government does not subscribe to the philosophy of "short term pain, for long term gain". Instead they temporary "fix" problems that effectively postpone and increase the magnitude of future problems.
Obama is in the unique position to be a truly great man for this country and execute reform. As Andy Dufrain said in a letter to Red at the end of Shawshank, "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing dies". I'll choose to hope for change and believe in Obama. But the realist in me knows that the status quo is the more likely end result.
The Tactician
On election night, my host brother Richard from Akrofonso (a small village in the middle of Ghana) called me to express his elation that Obama will be the next president of the United States. I recalled the discussion that we had together five years ago that black people are inferior to white people. He said, "The abruni (white man) is intelligent. the babini (black man) is not" as he chopped the top off a coconut for me with his machete. I told him that was ridiculous. He said, "then why do we live like we live, and you live like you live?". I then went into a twenty minute history lesson on Colonialism and the historical construct of subjegation by the Europeans to force African countries to be weak and dependent. Not surprisingly, this drew blank stares from Richard because only basic english was to be used to communicate and I certainly violated that rule. Needless to say, we changed the topic. As I spoke to him last Tuesday, I couldn't believe how much his English had improved. I said enthusiastically, "Richard, your English is great!" He said, "I'm like Obama, a black man with intelligence!" Without question, Obama's election is a remarkable, progressive step for our country - and the world.
With that said, the Obamania that has ensued is slightly concerning. I hope people are celebrating the significance of his election versus the anticipation of him being a deus ex machina for our country's problems. The question in my mind is whether Obama will become a great man or just a great politican. A great politican is like a Bill Clinton (sex scandal aside), in that we will always associate him with good times, but at the end of the day he did not make any fundamental changes to our dysfunctional system. Since disparaging George W. for his idiocy is cliche these days, I will say one thing, that he followed his own moral compass and made decisions (that just so happened to all be bad ones). I hope that Obama will do the same though, except make the right decisions and bring real change to this country. Unlike the election of Bush where many American's voted for someone that was a "common man", Obama was clearly an election of the "best of us" and therefore we should listen to him, not him to us.
Our government is dysfunctional regardless of whether we are less dysfunctional than everyone else. The special interests that run Washington lead to a misallocation of our resources and poor regulation. Our tax code makes no sense, taxes too much, and is way too confusing. The electoral college is archaic and needs to be reformend. Our military should be used with more restraint and focus more on the protection of our country instead of as the military for the world. The financial crises that is going on today has just begun to effect the economy. Much more pain is on the way. This pain is necessary - as an example the reduction of housing prices to reflect the true value - is necessary. However the government does not subscribe to the philosophy of "short term pain, for long term gain". Instead they temporary "fix" problems that effectively postpone and increase the magnitude of future problems.
Obama is in the unique position to be a truly great man for this country and execute reform. As Andy Dufrain said in a letter to Red at the end of Shawshank, "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing dies". I'll choose to hope for change and believe in Obama. But the realist in me knows that the status quo is the more likely end result.
The Tactician
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Mob Justice
Organized religion is little more than mob justice. If you’re pissed at that statement don’t read anymore; you’re not going to listen to what I have to say and I’m not trying to start an argument, I’m trying to make a point.
At the core of the religion is the belief in a power above reproach and mistake who hands out laws that are to be completely obeyed. Fine – I can neither prove nor disprove the existence of God so I feel I must acknowledge the possibility, though whether or not I choose to believe in the possibility is both my choice and my opinion. The point I’d like to make begins with the fact that we don’t live in heaven, we live on earth. And while God may have his hands busy with keeping the world spinning and picking out the sinners and the saints, we have these little problems on earth that need handling and every time we need an answer we’re told either to pray and leave a message, or to consult our preferred religious operating manual for a solution. Unfortunately for us, life is a little more complicated and can’t always wait for a return call or fall into neat explanations with page numbers. In lieu of an explanation from the source we are left with intermediaries, who though just as flawed and imperfect as we, are somehow more prescient and informed as to be able to correctly interpret and explain the course of action we should take ?
W.T.F
However, despite no evidence to the contrary, what is in actuality one person’s opinion is in reality taken not only as a fact, but also as divine law. Then everyone who hears and believes the message arms themselves not with the opinion of a man, but with the Truth of God. The Truth is not open to interpretation, disagreement or exception because it is after all the Truth. When people armed with and fighting for the Truth come together, they seem to assume they are in the right and therefore can do or say no wrong in pursuit of the Truth. It quickly denigrates into a more civilized, but no less dangerous, form of a mob mentality. Mobs are fine, I have no problems with mobs as I guess they have as much right to exist as anyone else. However, it is when a mob decides to become an agent of its own conception of justice or try to push others to conform to its ideas that I take issue. It leads to things like the Crusades, the Inquisition and the Holocaust. It is what leads people to believe that they can fight and conclusively win against things that have no substance and therefore can’t be “defeated” like “societies morals” or more relevantly “a war on terror.” I don’t believe religion is evil, I believe mobs are evil. No matter how well intentioned a mob, it will naturally devolve – and I believe that any group of people who share strongly held beliefs and have no system for dissention, reflection or compromise will eventually form a mob mentality. Organized religions are the worst kinds of mobs because they answer to no one, and it’s hard to topple an organizational whose leader can’t be found, seen or reasoned with.
If I seem fired up it’s because I am. Today, a woman I worked with started talking about how society’s morals were being corrupted and how certain magazines and images should be censored to stop the degradation. It made me furious and at the same time a little scared, because when you really think about it censorship is the 21st century equivalent of book burning. More specifically, I was furious because I think censorship promotes intellectual regression which stands in stark opposition to human culture, curiosity, and intellect. However, I was scared because when I think of book burning I remember the Heninrich Heine quote, “Wherever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human beings.”
At the core of the religion is the belief in a power above reproach and mistake who hands out laws that are to be completely obeyed. Fine – I can neither prove nor disprove the existence of God so I feel I must acknowledge the possibility, though whether or not I choose to believe in the possibility is both my choice and my opinion. The point I’d like to make begins with the fact that we don’t live in heaven, we live on earth. And while God may have his hands busy with keeping the world spinning and picking out the sinners and the saints, we have these little problems on earth that need handling and every time we need an answer we’re told either to pray and leave a message, or to consult our preferred religious operating manual for a solution. Unfortunately for us, life is a little more complicated and can’t always wait for a return call or fall into neat explanations with page numbers. In lieu of an explanation from the source we are left with intermediaries, who though just as flawed and imperfect as we, are somehow more prescient and informed as to be able to correctly interpret and explain the course of action we should take ?
W.T.F
However, despite no evidence to the contrary, what is in actuality one person’s opinion is in reality taken not only as a fact, but also as divine law. Then everyone who hears and believes the message arms themselves not with the opinion of a man, but with the Truth of God. The Truth is not open to interpretation, disagreement or exception because it is after all the Truth. When people armed with and fighting for the Truth come together, they seem to assume they are in the right and therefore can do or say no wrong in pursuit of the Truth. It quickly denigrates into a more civilized, but no less dangerous, form of a mob mentality. Mobs are fine, I have no problems with mobs as I guess they have as much right to exist as anyone else. However, it is when a mob decides to become an agent of its own conception of justice or try to push others to conform to its ideas that I take issue. It leads to things like the Crusades, the Inquisition and the Holocaust. It is what leads people to believe that they can fight and conclusively win against things that have no substance and therefore can’t be “defeated” like “societies morals” or more relevantly “a war on terror.” I don’t believe religion is evil, I believe mobs are evil. No matter how well intentioned a mob, it will naturally devolve – and I believe that any group of people who share strongly held beliefs and have no system for dissention, reflection or compromise will eventually form a mob mentality. Organized religions are the worst kinds of mobs because they answer to no one, and it’s hard to topple an organizational whose leader can’t be found, seen or reasoned with.
If I seem fired up it’s because I am. Today, a woman I worked with started talking about how society’s morals were being corrupted and how certain magazines and images should be censored to stop the degradation. It made me furious and at the same time a little scared, because when you really think about it censorship is the 21st century equivalent of book burning. More specifically, I was furious because I think censorship promotes intellectual regression which stands in stark opposition to human culture, curiosity, and intellect. However, I was scared because when I think of book burning I remember the Heninrich Heine quote, “Wherever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human beings.”
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
A Tree Falls
So, if a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear it fall does it make a sound?
I've kind of thought that the question was slightly insighful though stupidly phrased. Of course the tree makes a sound, the laws of physics and nature don't stop working just because no one is around to take note of it. The question that I like to think of about is, if a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear it, does it matter that it makes a sound? This is intersting because it questions whether recognition is necessary for validation. If an event isn't recognized is it invalid, does it just not matter? Phrased another way, if I write a blog and no one reads it does it really matter what I say, does it matter how good the writing is, is it necessary for me to hold myself to any kind of standard?
The fact that I am writing is a clear indication of where I personally stand on the matter, because I try not to waste my own time. A thing is valid because it is valid, not because it is recognized. The sound that is made when the tree falls is the same whether the world is watching or there is no one at all to hear. Emily Dickenson, whose poetry I'm slightly ambivalent to positive about, is a great example of this belief. She spent her whole life writing and let out about 12 poems that were significantly altered before their publication during her lifetime. After she died her sister found over 1,800 poems stashed in her sock drawer and published the works. Today she is easily considered a major American poet. If no one had found her work and published it would the prose have been any less valid, would she in actuallity have been less of a poet, would it not have mattered that she had wrote at all? No, everything would have been the same, the situation just would have been tragic and the world the less for it.
In the same manner the valididty of a blog, and the decision on whether it matters, isn't determined by how many people read or notice what is written, but by the quality of thought and effort that is put into the writing of the work. That said, when I step up to the stage, I plan to step correct.
I've kind of thought that the question was slightly insighful though stupidly phrased. Of course the tree makes a sound, the laws of physics and nature don't stop working just because no one is around to take note of it. The question that I like to think of about is, if a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear it, does it matter that it makes a sound? This is intersting because it questions whether recognition is necessary for validation. If an event isn't recognized is it invalid, does it just not matter? Phrased another way, if I write a blog and no one reads it does it really matter what I say, does it matter how good the writing is, is it necessary for me to hold myself to any kind of standard?
The fact that I am writing is a clear indication of where I personally stand on the matter, because I try not to waste my own time. A thing is valid because it is valid, not because it is recognized. The sound that is made when the tree falls is the same whether the world is watching or there is no one at all to hear. Emily Dickenson, whose poetry I'm slightly ambivalent to positive about, is a great example of this belief. She spent her whole life writing and let out about 12 poems that were significantly altered before their publication during her lifetime. After she died her sister found over 1,800 poems stashed in her sock drawer and published the works. Today she is easily considered a major American poet. If no one had found her work and published it would the prose have been any less valid, would she in actuallity have been less of a poet, would it not have mattered that she had wrote at all? No, everything would have been the same, the situation just would have been tragic and the world the less for it.
In the same manner the valididty of a blog, and the decision on whether it matters, isn't determined by how many people read or notice what is written, but by the quality of thought and effort that is put into the writing of the work. That said, when I step up to the stage, I plan to step correct.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)